The 2023 season opener is quickly approaching and I desperately need to scan the latest NFL futures odds to get my picks in order.
Now, this might come as a shock, but I thoroughly enjoy waiting until the last minute to do something (anything, everything) before full-on panicking about said thing(s) and then playing the mad-scramble game to get it all together as my blood pressure rises to match my blood alcohol content.
Zero out of 10. Do not recommend.
And currently, I'm sitting in a doctor's office waiting for my husband to finish up a medical procedure that he has coined, “The Chinese Finger Trap,” that I also do not recommend.
I'll let you decide what you think that is because there is no way the Action Network is going to let me go into full detail about this disaster.
What I do recommend, though, is getting your NFL futures picks in as soon as possible. I'm here to help, especially those who waited until the last minute.
I see you. You are my people.
NFL Futures Odds, Picks
*NFL futures odds as of Sept. 1
NFL Win Total Pick
Eagles Over 11.5 Wins (+110) via BetMGM
This 11.5-win total seems short considering Philadelphia's 2023 schedule.
I find it hard to believe that the Eagles can’t win a large portion of their NFC East games while also handling their non-division schedule.
While they have their work cut out for them with the Bills, Jets, Chiefs and Dolphins, the remainder of the schedule is fairly easy.
In fact, the Action Network's Sean Koerner has given the Eagles the EASIEST schedule in the league this season.
I put Philly closer to 13 wins, so getting over 11.5 at plus-money is nice.
Maybe I should bet Jalen Hurts for MVP, too?
NFL MVP Picks
Aaron Rodgers (+1600) via FanDuel
I mean, you saw this coming, right? Right?
There is no way in this "green 18" universe that I'm not going to bet Rodgers at +1600 with this Jets offense.
Add in Dalvin Cook and chef's kiss.
Quietly whispers "J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, JETS" into the multiverse.
Geno Smith (+4000) via DraftKings
Listen, Geno surpassed all of my expectations in 2022.
I like Geno. I watched Geno while he played at West Virginia.
Please don’t tell my husband that or he's going to make me start watching college football — and I can’t.
I just can't. I'm too old for college football — it’s too much for this 40-year-old mother. Just no.
Last season, Geno posted the highest completion percentage (69.8%) in the league, threw the fourth-most touchdowns and was in the top 10 in almost every other quarterback stat that I had the patience to read.
My only real concern is Seattle's offensive line.
Smith was sacked 46 times in the 2022 regular season — only Russell Wilson and Justin Field were sacked more. However, if the offensive line can improve a bit, I have high hopes that Geno can have the best season of his career.
Honorable Mention: Jalen Hurts (+1200) via FanDuel
I just talked myself into Hurts while writing this article. I would also put Hurts, Josh Allen and Justin Herbert in the same tier, but you can get a better price on Hurts.
Most Rushing Touchdowns Pick
David Montgomery (+3000) via Caesars
With Montgomery taking over the Jamaal Williams role in Detroit, I have high hopes that the former Bears running back can make the most of his new gig.
We know the Lions like to run, and as Action Network's Chris Raybon explains:
"The former Bear is slated to inherit a role that saw Williams handle a league-high 28 carries inside the opposing 5-yard line and a league-high 45 carries inside the opposing 10. Williams led the league in both of those categories by a substantial margin, with no other back handling more than 20 attempts inside the 5 or 29 attempts inside the 10.
Montgomery's current career high in rushing touchdowns is eight, but that's not a concern given that Williams' previous career-high was just four before exploding for 17 last season."
I like Raybon. Raybon is smart.
We should all be a little more like Raybon (awkwardly winks at my camera like he can see me).
