Christi Walsh is an Action Network contributor who enjoys a side of sports betting with her typical snark.
Adulting is a bitch. Snowstorms are a bitch.
And I say “snowstorm” very lightly since we are expected to get only 1-5 inches of snow. But, that doesn’t matter down here in North Carolina where they have already closed schools without a drop of precipitation, there’s no Gatorade, chicken or milk in the grocery store and everyone is in a complete and total panic.
I get Gatorade, but chicken? WTF?
Parenting is also bitch.
Being stuck at home with nowhere to go and two kids bouncing off the walls is a bitch.
At least we don’t have COVID. Lol, just kidding, we totally have COVID, too. Kids are germ-infested, self-sustaining cootie factories and it’s a damn wonder how we’ve managed to avoid it until now.
It’s been seven days since I've spent more than 15 minutes outside of my home and it’s not looking good that I'll be heading out anytime soon, either.
So how do I make the best of a full weekend slate of NFL playoffs? Idk, complaining about it seems to be working well so far.
But, instead of wallowing in my own brand of parental self-pity, I'm going to Marie Kondo the shit out of this weekend and do all the things that spark joy, like betting on Aaron Rodgers or making totally unreasonable DFS lineups or drinking a whole bottle of Malbec before 4 p.m. ET on Saturday … and Sunday.
I mean, I'm stuck here for at least another five days since child No. 2 woke up with a fever yesterday morning, completely derailing my plans for freedom.
So let's wrap up this pity party and get on with the reasons why all three of you are reading this article:
NFL Playoff Divisional Round Betting Picks
*Odds as of Saturday morning
Aaron Rodgers Over 263.5 Yards Passing
You knew it was coming. Rodgers at home. Rodgers in cold weather. Rodgers with his shirt off, wait what?
Anyway, the 49ers defense is very good overall, but ranks 16th in passing yards allowed. I’ll follow Rodgers to the end of the earth, because I'm pretty sure he thinks it's flat.
Tamp Bay Buccaneers (-2.5)
There’s something so magical about watching Tom Brady play in the postseason. He’s like a unicorn, a really old unicorn that shouldn't be moving that well for his age, but is still badass.
It’s also a great sign that the Bucs have gone 8-1 at Raymond James Stadium this year. I expect nothing less than Brady, the Magical Old Unicorn, putting on a clinic this weekend.
PointsBet has this at Bucs -2.5 (-115), a number I very much like.
San Francisco 49ers (+5.5)
Ok, I know that I just made a bid for Rodgers over 263.5 pass yards but I also think that the Niners will keep it close.
As of Friday, The Action Network had some PRO angles on San Fran, so I'm riding with those.
