I recently streamed a 2011 football film starring Kurt Russell titled “Touchback.” It was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Please watch it.
One of my favorite lines in a list of few was when the main character, a high school football player, is discussing his college recruitment in the locker room with a friend, who quips, “Don’t go to Hawaii, man! That school sucks.”
And at that moment of time I knew whoever had their fingerprints on this script knew absolutely nothing about college football.
It doesn’t matter if you bet over, ‘dog, chalk or under at 11:59 on Saturdays, when Hawaii and their opponents take the field on Facebook Live — everyone loves Hawaii. Be more wrong, producers. Embarrassing. I spent the majority of the weekend thinking of a less hateable team, and I couldn’t.
Also, if you think Hawaii sucks, I’ve got news for you, kid: Welcome to Week 5 of the 2021 season. Just about every team sucks.
To get us rolling into the new week, we have Brett McMurphy’s AP Top 25 poll and Collin Wilson’s Power Ratings to compare and contrast.
Here’s how the two experts have shuffled their pecking order following a whacky Week 4.
Brett McMurphy's AP Top 25 Ballot Entering Week 5
AP denotes Brett McMurphy's Associated Press Top 25 ballot.
PR denotes Collin Wilson's College Football Betting Power Ratings.
1
Alabama
1
2
Georgia
2
3
Oregon
14
4
Penn State
5
5
Arkansas
17
Is Woo Pig Sooie the most likable team in the country for those without a rooting interest? Tough to argue at this point.
McMurphy’s buying the juice, slotting the Razorbacks into the top 5. Wilson, meanwhile, is just one week closer to finding hotel reservations near Lucas Oil Stadium in late January, with no choice other than to push the Razorbacks up to No. 17 — six spots up from last week’s ranking.
Head coach Sam Pittman is a genius. Quarterback K.J. Jefferson doesn’t throw the ball unless it’s a deep vertical. Offensive coordinator Kendal Briles is whipping up pristine game plans. The defense is top-10 nationally in points allowed (14.5).
Big two weeks coming up for the squad, with games against Georgia and Ole Miss on deck.
6
Iowa
13
If you have to start by saying “This team might not be flashy, but they get the job done!” when profiling a contender, it’s not ideal.
The playoff is reserved for bombshells. Iowa has … a terrific personality.
Spencer Petras, who would suddenly melt into a puddle of mush if the quick-out route or tight end seam were prohibited from college football, is your quarterback. Half the tape he sends NFL scouts will be handoffs to Tyler Goodson.
The defense, which is apt to score more points than the offense on a weekly basis, has yet to play a team that can complete a forward pass.
Plus, I’m firmly convinced Kirk Ferentz would need a minute to decide between cracking the Playoff, or drawing some faltering Pac-12 squad in the Music City Bowl l if given the choice.
Nobody likes steamrolling an opponent in a meaningless postseason game as a 3-point favorite more than Iowa.
7
Notre Dame
19
8
Cincinnati
7
9
Florida
6
10
Ohio State
3
11
BYU
52
12
Ole Miss
11
13
Michigan
18
14
Fresno State
58
There’s a huge disagreement on Fresno State, which has been one of the most volatile clubs in the nation.
A team that blew out UConn and picked up an upset win over UCLA on the road nearly lost to UNLV as 30.5-point underdogs last Friday, but unlike Minnesota, got it together down the stretch to remain undefeated.
BYU and Cincinnati are the two non-Power Five clubs ahead of Fresno in McMurphy’s rankings, while Wilson’s showing love for Coastal, SMU, Boise State, Marshall and Nevada.
Don’t sleep on a fun race in the Group of Five.
15
Oklahoma
4
16
NC State
29
17
Texas A&M
9
18
Michigan State
36
19
Baylor
47
20
UCLA
20
21
San Diego State
80
22
Coastal Carolina
31
23
SMU
56
24
Oklahoma State
37
25
Wake Forest
34
NR
Clemson
15
Clemson went from playoff hopeful to likely laying 11 points over a Mountain West team in the Cricket by Wireless Bojangles Bowl in the drop of a hat. They're not even ranked in McMurphy's poll and sit 15th in Wilson's power ratings.
Through three games against FBS teams in 2021, the Tigers are averaging 12.7 points per game. That’s worse than both Akron and Bowling Green, which are a combined 7-36 under their active head coaches.
McMurphy’s already dismissed Dabo from his list, while Collin’s likely one more dud away from joining.
Perhaps the most amusing part of the Clemson slump is simultaneously watching Miami and North Carolina choke. Of all the years the Tigers gift away the ACC, nobody wants anything to do with it.
Find me in the fetal position when Dave Clawson and 8-4 Wake Forest win the conference.
