Sometimes life throws you a curveball just to remind you of your place. There is nothing like feeling great about yourself and getting knocked down a peg or two — am I right?
Funny story (not funny at all): My 40th-birthday trip to Las Vegas ended in my husband testing positive for Covid.
After testing myself every morning for FIVE DAYS and getting negative results, I thought I was home free. My immune system full of booze and Las Vegas germs is nails!
So I unmasked and danced around my house, with my kids, because I am badass.
But wait, there's more.
When I woke up Wednesday morning with a slight cough, I tested again, and in a not-so-shocking turn of events, I was positive.
After canceling my work schedule for the rest of the week, planning out our weekend in the house (because there is no way I didn't give it to my kids — my luck is never that good) and side-eyeing my nice bottle of wine at 7:52 a.m. on a Wednesday, I decided to come up with an ultimate Sick-Day Parlay.
Because why not?
I'll be in the house listening to my kids fight about everything from dog poop to their favorite flavor of toothpaste. Help me.
NFL Predictions
*NFL odds as of Sunday morning
Colts (+2) vs. Saints
1 p.m. ET | FOX
This line hasn't moved much over the last few days, and I'm fine with that.
The Colts are attracting action from the sharps per Action Network's PRO Report, making this a bet I'll happily follow.
I also don't believe that Garner Minshew, "The MinShow," is much of a downgrade from Anthony Richardson at this point in their careers.
And while PRO Projections make the spread Colts +0.7, I see them as short favorites — not that I know shit about the inner workings of line making.
Texans vs. Panthers (Over 43.5)
1 p.m. ET | FOX
This total opened at 41.5, which shows us exactly what the wiseguys are thinking, and I still like the over at 43.5.
Overs are always a fan favorite in our house, and this one will be no different.
Give me a showdown with all the chaos. If I have to spend the entirety of my day stuck in my house with my husband and adorable but slightly terrifying children, I deserve a little escapism.
ALL. THE. CHAOS. DAMMIT.
Patriots vs. Dolphins (Under 46.5)
1 p.m. ET | CBS
The weather down in Miami looks sunny with a chance of…wind. Yes, I was hoping for something snarky there too, but it's 8 a.m. on a Sunday, and I have Covid.
Cut me some slack people.
With gusts of 22 miles per hour possible, this might just be a run-heavy game, and I can get on board with that.
